Rude Awakening Read online

  The E J Pugh Mysteries

  ONE TWO WHAT DID DADDY DO?

  HICKORY DICKORY STALK

  HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN

  THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL

  A CROOKED LITTLE HOUSE

  NOT IN MY BACK YARD

  DON’T DRINK THE WATER

  ROMANCED TO DEATH *

  The Milt Kovak Series

  THE MAN IN THE GREEN CHEVY

  HOUSTON IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR

  OTHER PEOPLE’S HOUSES

  CHASING AWAY THE DEVIL

  DEAD MOON ON THE RISE

  DOCTORS AND LAWYERS AND SUCH

  LYING WONDERS

  VEGAS NERVE

  SHOTGUN WEDDING *

  RUDE AWAKENING *

  The Kimmey Kruse Series

  FUNNY AS A DEAD COMIC

  FUNNY AS A DEAD RELATIVE

  *available from Severn House

  This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author's and publisher's rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

  This first world edition published 2009

  in Great Britain and in the USA by

  SEVERN HOUSE PUBLISHERS LTD of

  9–15 High Street, Sutton, Surrey, England, SM1 1DF

  Copyright © 2009 by Susan Rogers Cooper.

  All rights reserved.

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

  Cooper, Susan Rogers.

  Rude Awakening.

  1. Kovak, Milton (Fictitious character) – Fiction.

  2. Sheriffs – Oklahoma – Fiction. 3. Detective and mystery stories.

  I. Title

  813.5'4-dc22

  ISBN-13: 978-1-78010-031-9 (ePub)

  ISBN-13: 978-0-7278-6741-4 (cased)

  ISBN-13: 978-1-84751-160-7 (trade paper)

  Except where actual historical events and characters are being described for the storyline of this novel, all situations in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to living persons is purely coincidental.

  To intrepid fan and sometime contributor Joe Burkholder and to Tristan Cooper-Brooks, the new man in my life

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I would like to thank my readers and fellow writers, Jan Grape, Nancy Bell, and Evin Cooper for their insight and courage, and, as always, Vicky Bijur, my friend and agent. I would also like to thank Anna and Amanda from Severn House for their encouragement and insightful editing.

  PROLOGUE

  EMIL HAWTHORNE

  Dr Emil Hawthorne woke up in a very bad mood. That he woke up at all was a medical miracle; one of those incidents desperate family members point to in an attempt to delay pulling the plug on a loved one. For Dr Emil Hawthorne had woken up after eight years in a coma. Another unusual thing about Dr Hawthorne was that he awoke with total recall of the accident that had caused the head injury, putting his life on hold for eight years. He was on his way to have a chat with a colleague, and he was traveling at eighty miles per hour in a fifty-five-mile-an-hour zone. He barely saw the large pickup truck perched atop its monster-truck tires as it slammed into him – after he ran the red light.

  The good news, I suppose you could say, was that Dr Emil Hawthorne woke at all. The bad news was that he woke up to the fact that his medical license had been revoked and his fully restored, 1963 classic Corvette, that he’d been driving during the accident, had been totaled, long ago having been smashed flat at the junk yard. His penthouse apartment on Chicago’s Michigan Avenue had been sold, along with his very small Cézanne, his Shaker sideboard, the antique Oriental rug in his den and anything else of value; all in order to pay for the exorbitant medical bills produced by eight years of a coma. Everything else had been either sold at a garage sale or given to Good Will.

  When Dr Emil Hawthorne woke up that morning, he owned exactly nothing; even the gown covering his body belonged to the hospital.

  The one thing he did own, as those in his former profession would say, was his anger. The anger that had led him to the high-speed romp that ended in his current situation. The anger those eight years in a coma could not sway. The anger directed at one person, and one person alone. His betrayer.

  Dr Jean MacDonnell.

  That had been six months ago – a very long six months. When you have no further to fall, the only option is up, and Dr Emil Hawthorne was able to pull in a few favors still owed, take advantage of a little guilt here and there, gather up sufficient funds to finance his venture. It wasn’t a money-making venture, per se. If he saw a profit, then so be it. The venture was, in and of itself, revenge, plain and simple.

  Dr Emil Hawthorne was going to get some of his own back, come hell, high water or a hick sheriff – who just happened to be his betrayer’s husband.

  PART I

  REVENGE

  ONE

  DALTON PETTIGREW

  Dalton Pettigrew was in love. It was the first time since Sally Jeffries in the ninth grade, and he’d never gotten up the courage to speak to her, much less to ask her out. But here he was now, in a three-month-old relationship, and with a girl as pretty as a postcard: golden hair, big blue eyes and a smile so sweet it could take your breath away. Her name was Sarah and she lived in Tulsa. She was kind and gentle, a little bit shy, and Dalton knew in his heart that they would be together forever.

  All he had to do was to actually meet her.

  Dalton knew that people – mainly his boss, Sheriff Milt Kovak – thought of him as kind of stupid, but he wasn’t really. Dalton just didn’t have a lot of confidence, which is why he asked so many questions. He just wanted to make sure that he had everything absolutely straight in his head before he attempted something. He didn’t like making mistakes, and if asking a lot of what people called ‘fool questions’ kept him from making mistakes, then so be it. ‘Better to look a fool than be a fool,’ his mama always said. And in Dalton’s line of work, a mistake could cost somebody his life. A few years back Dalton had done something that made him a hero in the eyes of the town, and he’d gloried in that – but not for long. As his mama often said, ‘The real question is: what have you done lately?’ Meaning: Don’t rely on the praise of past glories; nobody’ll remember them, except for you.

  Not being stupid, Dalton hadn’t told anyone – not even his mama – about Sarah. He’d told a friend back in the ninth grade about Sally Jeffries, and it had gotten all over school and made him look a fool. ‘Better to look a fool than be a fool’ always ended with his mama adding, ‘But never look a fool if you can help it.’ So he emailed Sarah every night, sometimes three or four times if she kept answering him, from the privacy of his bedroom computer. Sometimes they’d IM each other, just like having a phone conversation, except without awkward silences or stuttered words on his part.

  But now Sarah wanted to meet him. Wanted him to come to Tulsa. Just the thought made his palms sweat and ears ring. What if she didn’t like him? She said she thought he was handsome in his picture, but that only showed his face, with his gray-green eyes, blond hair in standard military cut and lopsided smile with one dimple. He always thought that one dimple and the crooked smile made him look a little stupid, but she had said she thought he looked handsome. But what if she didn’t realize he was a ‘big old boy’? Maybe she didn’t like ’em real tall or real big. Not that Dalton was fat: most of it was muscle, but sometimes that put off some girls. Or so
his mama said.

  Sarah – what a sweet, old-fashioned name. He thought it went well with her picture. In it, she wore a pale pink sweater set and a strand of pearls, her hair to her shoulders and slightly flipped out at the ends. No piercings, no tattoos. They’d talked about that, and she’d been adamant that it was a sacrilege to deface one’s body in such a way. ‘Your body is your temple,’ she’d written, ‘created by God in his image. Would you stick holes in God? Put a picture of a butterfly on God?’

  Dalton had agreed with her 100 per cent. He wasn’t a particularly religious person, although he went with his mama to the Church of Christ every Sunday. He mostly daydreamed or slept during the sermon, and he hadn’t read the Bible since he was a boy. But he agreed that piercing or tattooing one’s body was somehow offensive to God.

  Dalton very much wanted to meet Sarah, but he wanted that part to be over. He wanted them to just move on to the part where they loved each other and wanted to get married and have babies. At thirty-four, Dalton was definitely ready for that part of his life to begin. He was tired of just being ‘Uncle Dalton’ to his sister’s three kids and his brother’s four. He wanted his own. And he wanted Sarah.

  In his daydreams, he saw Sarah in their kitchen, all white and yellow, with her in that pink sweater set, feeding their baby at the kitchen table, the baby – a boy, of course – in his high chair, laughing and gurgling as his mama spooned in the food. In his daydreams, Dalton stood watching them, a smile on his face, content with his lot in life. Sometimes he saw the two of them, he and Sarah, at the zoo in Tulsa on a Sunday: Sarah with a little girl in a stroller, he with his son riding on his shoulders. They were laughing and pointing at the animals; the children excited, and he and Sarah looking on with good-humored indulgence.

  One of his favorite daydreams was being in Sheriff Kovak’s backyard, with the sheriff’s young son Johnny Mac teaching Dalton’s boy how to throw a ball, and Sarah and Jean talking women’s talk, Dalton’s baby girl sitting on his lap as he listened to the sheriff talk about this or that as he barbecued steaks for the grown-ups and hot dogs for the kids. This could be Dalton’s life.

  If he’d just go to Tulsa and meet Sarah.

  MILT KOVAK

  If somebody ever suggests to you to move to a small town and run for sheriff, shoot ’em. It’s not the glory job you might think. I was sitting in my office writing out a report to the county commissioners on why I thought it would be a good thing to have a traffic light on the corner of Mitchem Road and Highway-5. The fact that we’ve had fourteen accidents there in the past ten years wasn’t enough to sway them, since not one was a fatality.

  It was three o’clock in the afternoon and it had not been a good day. Hell, it was Friday, and it hadn’t been a good week. In the wee hours of Monday morning, Dale Davies got his foot stuck in a culvert grate over on Hayes Street and was too drunk to figure out how to get it out and just started screaming. Now, Dale lives on Hayes Street and it woulda been all right if Marlene, Dale’s wife, had been the first one to hear him screaming, but that wasn’t the case. Four other households on Hayes Street heard him before Marlene – who’d been up late watching Dave Letterman – even woke up. Three of those other households were on to the sheriff’s department right away; the fourth, having just moved to Hayes Street from inside the city limits of Longbranch and not remembering they were in the county now, called the police department.

  Anthony Dobbins, Prophesy County’s first and only African-American deputy, was first on the scene, but then he got into a jurisdictional dispute with Vern Neuman, the police officer on call for the city. Now, Vern’s not a card-carrying member of the Ku Klux Klan or anything like that, but he’s not what you’d call enlightened either. He made a rude remark to Anthony, who made a rude remark back; all the time both of ’em forgetting poor old Dale Davies, whose foot was still stuck in the culvert grate and was still screaming fit to beat the band. So the three households who’d called the sheriff’s department, and the one household who’d called the police department, all hit redial and eventually me and Charlie Smith, the Longbranch Police Chief, had to get out of our separate beds, pull on our separate britches and go the hell down to Hayes Street and figure out the mess.

  And that was before Monday had even really begun. Later that afternoon I had a ‘shots fired’ called in from out in the country and, being March and not hunting season, we had to deal with it. But the country, being big like it is with just some mile markers and a bunch of trees as landmarks, is not a real good description, so we never found the perpetrator, nor did we find anything dead.

  Tuesday was just the usual crap. But then Wednesday, Arlene Edgewater called in to say that she’d had a peeping Tom the night before. Now, Arlene is seventy-five if she’s a day, and I’m not saying she’s not a good-looking woman, even at seventy-five, but we don’t get a lot of peeping toms going after the senior set. Which just goes to show what an ageist I am, even in my advanced years. Wednesday night, while Dalton Pettigrew was doing his rounds (going by Miz Edgewater’s house special because I asked him to), he caught Lon Robert Brown peeping in Miz Edgewater’s bedroom window. Dalton called me down to the station to deal with Lon Robert, who’s ninety-three. He had figured out some way to get out of his daughter Lois’s house, even though she’s got keyed deadbolts on every door in the house, due to her daddy’s Alzheimer’s. I called Lois, who Dalton easily could have called himself, but he didn’t, and had a long talk, again, with her about having her daddy put in a home. By the time I got back to my house on Mountain Falls Road, all the lights were on and Johnny Mac, my four-year-old son, was sitting in his mama’s lap in the living room, running a temperature of 102 point something.

  So on Thursday I stayed home in the morning with Johnny Mac and went in after lunch when my wife Jean came home for her turn.

  Which gets us back to Friday. Johnny Mac woke up perfectly OK. Jean fixed him oatmeal for breakfast, even though he insisted he wanted McDonald’s. So, like an idiot, I promised him McDonald’s for lunch. So Jean took him to pre school, and I picked him up at noon, and we met his mama at McDonald’s. As anyone with kids knows, McDonald’s is haute cuisine for the Happy Meal set, and a decent reward for a four-year-old who managed to outsmart a temperature.

  So he got four-piece chicken McNuggets with ranch, apple slices with caramel dipping sauce and chocolate milk, all in a Happy Meal with a cheap plastic toy, which is the real reason most kids even want to go to McDonald’s. Jean got a salad, and I got a Big Mac and large fries. Jean and I got to talking, not really noticing how many of my fries Johnny Mac was managing to shovel into his mouth, along with his own concoction of ranch dressing mixed with ketchup (if you don’t look directly at it, it’s not that bad). He’d already managed to finish his chicken nuggets, apple dippers and most of his chocolate milk.

  There was absolutely no warning. The boy just spewed. Blew chunks everywhere – all over himself, his mama and me. And he just didn’t stop. The lady sitting next to us began to dry heave, which got her two-year-old crying, and the manager, Sharon Maggert, who me and my ex-wife used to double date with back the summer after we graduated high school, came running out, screaming my name and pointing at the door.

  By this time, Johnny Mac had quit spewing, so I picked him up and rushed toward the door. Unfortunately, I was holding him around the middle, which I now see might have been a mistake. As we approached the doors, he projectile vomited, hitting the glass doors, the floor, the life-size cut-out of Ronald MacDonald standing next to the door and the booth closest to us.

  Sharon didn’t even let Jean finish cleaning up, just asked us to leave and to use the drive-thru from now on. I thought that was rude, but Jean said just to leave her be, so I did. We all headed back home for a change of clothes. I left Johnny Mac and Jean back at the house and headed back to the station.

  And for those of you who might be asking yourselves, hey, isn’t he too old to have a four-year-old son? The answer is yes, I am. Way too old.
I’m now doing something I shoulda done thirty years ago, i.e., being a daddy. But thirty years ago it didn’t happen. It happened four years ago, and what’s a fella to do? At somewhere around the sixty mark (and I’m not telling if it was north or south), I met a lady named Jean, who took a fancy to a paunchy, balding deputy sheriff, who just happened to have a killer smile and a sparkle in his blue eyes. That’s me, folks. And the rest, as they say, is history.

  So, here it was: three o’clock on a Friday afternoon, and I was making up statistics on the eminent probability of a fatality on Mitchem Road and Highway-5, and trying to get the smell of Johnny Mac’s spew out of my nostrils, when I got an intercom call from Gladys, our civilian clerk.

  ‘Milt,’ she said, with that no-nonsense sound to her voice. ‘You need to get out here.’

  Hitting the switch to talk, I said, ‘I’m busy.’

  ‘Now,’ she said, and her tone brooked no argument. Thinking she ain’t the boss of me did little to keep me in my seat. Having been raised by a mama whose ‘now’ meant serious business, I was kinda like Pavlov’s dog to that word. I went into the large area where Gladys ruled.

  Two things caught my eye. The first was Gladys standing behind her counter, arms across her chest, a scowl on her face. The second was what she was scowling at. Namely, my deputy Dalton Pettigrew’s mama.

  Dalton’s mama was five foot nothing, weighed about eighty-five pounds and was wearing a workout suit that appeared to come from the boy’s department of J.C. Penney’s. The running shoes on her tiny feet lit up when she moved – definitely from the boy’s department. She had very short salt-and-pepper hair, glasses and a hawkish nose. And she ruled the roost at her house like nobody’s business – and had since Dalton’s daddy went out for a pack of cigarettes one night and never came back. ’Course, maybe she ruled the roost before that, too, which may have been why Dalton’s daddy left. And it looked like she was trying to rule the roost here now, too. The fact that this was definitely, and without question, Gladys’s roost didn’t seem to impress the lady much.